


Last Chance

by duckgirlie



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-18
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 13:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckgirlie/pseuds/duckgirlie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he was seventeen, he kissed you in Oklahoma and told you that he loved you. And you kissed him back for barely a second before pulling away, wiping away the tears of fear and nerves spilling down his face and told him not now, not... <i>one day</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Chance

When he was seventeen, he kissed you in Oklahoma and told you that he loved you. And you kissed him back for barely a second before pulling away, wiping away the tears of fear and nerves spilling down his face and told him not now, not... one day.

Except that one day never seemed to arrive. And when he was twenty-three you got the invitation, perfect raised type on heavy ivory cardstock, that told you that day was gone forever.

 

– – –

 

Dave didn't answer the door on the first knock, or even the fourth. It was only when he discovered who was out there that he realised it was open up or never leave the house again that he let her in. Carly swirled into the living room, stony-faced, and stood staring at him, her hands firmly on her hips.

"What?"

"Why haven't you been answering your phone?" She demanded. "I've been calling you for... for fucking ever, but you're not answering."

"I'm fine."

"Don't give me that, Dave. You can tell yourself whatever the fuck you want, but don't lie to me, alright?" She looked him up and down, taking in the sweatpants and beer bottle and sighed. "I see you've the date marked, anyway. Are you going?"

Dave laughed. "Yeah. I'm going to go and stand outside a temple for an hour, with everyone looking at me, then go to a reception with no booze, and frantically avoid talking to the happy couple. Of course I'm not fucking going."

She looked at him again before collapsing onto the couch and sighing. "Oh love."

He sat down carefully next to her. "I just... I can't. I know I should be the bigger man and everything, but I can't. I can't go there and watch him be happy without hating myself for not doing anything about it, and hating her for being the one he loved more."

Carly raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you really think?"

"What else could it be?"

She reached into her handbag and pulled out a plane ticket. "This is for you."

He stared at it for a second. "I'm not going to the wedding."

"I know you're not. You'll notice this ticket has you in and out before the rehearsal dinner. Because ten minutes before the ceremony is just tacky and cruel, but you have to tell him." 

"Why would I do that to myself?" He asked.

"Because you don't know what he'd choose if he knew there was a choice." She said.

"Carly. He's marrying her. If someone's going to do anything about that, it's him, not me."

"He already did something about that." Carly said. "Six years ago, when he told you he loved you on the last night of the tour. He made the opening move, and you just walked away from the board."

"He was too..."

"I know, I know. He was too young. And then there was Kim, and albums, and more tours, and more albums, and he met Sarah and you met Jack, and there was always someone for one of you. And now there's Danielle. But maybe he still loves you, and you never got to have him because you were too focused on what you thought should happen instead of what you wanted to happen. But that's not really fair on him, is it? Don't you think you owe him something after telling him 'one day' and then pushing that day so far back it disappeared?"

Dave stared at her for a couple of seconds after the speech before slouching back on the couch in silence.

"What's she like?" He asked finally.

"She's great. She's lovely. She's not you. And you owe this to her as much as you owe it to him. Because no one wants to be the girl left at the alter, but no one wants to be the consolation prize either."

She stood up and handed him the ticket. "It's your move." 

 

David was starting at himself in the mirror when the bell rang, and nearly didn't hear it. Even when he answered it, it took him a moment to respond. On the porch, Dave smiled nervously, his hands stuffed into his pockets. 

"Hi."

"Hi." David nearly stumbled over the single syllable, stepping aside to let Dave into the hallway.

There was silence, broken only by their breathing until David spoke. "You didn't RSVP."

"I'm... I'm not here for the wedding."

"Oh." David paused. "Um, why are you here?"

"I don't really know."

"Oh."

Dave sighed and pushing his hands through his hair and rested them, clasped at the back of his head.

"That's not... That's not true. I know why I'm here."

"Oh, okay." David paused again. "Um, why?"

"I had to say sorry. Because you told me you loved me and I never said it back, even though I did. Because I told you to wait but never told you for how long. And I told myself that you knew how much I loved you so I wouldn't have to tell you, and then I wouldn't have to risk you telling me you'd stopped." 

Dave sighed deeply and dropped his hands to his sides, looking up to make eye-contact. "And I had to tell you that I still do love you. I always will, I think. And I know you love her now, and it's too late for me, and that's all my fault, but I had to tell you. I made a promise, and I broke it, and I know I'm going to be the one who suffers for it, forever, but I had to tell you what you mean to me, and that I'm sorry."

Dave looked into David's eyes and tried to make out all the emotions swirling in them. He took a slight step forward and reached out for David's hand, but he snatched it back.

"I'm getting married in three days."

"I know."

"How could you..." David stopped, angry. "How could you do this now? You've had six years to say all of that, and you had to wait until today?"

"I'm sorry! But I had to... I had to let you know."

"Why? To make yourself feel better? I was... I'm getting married. You can't just... You can't just come here and try and change everything."

"I'm sorry, I..."

"Can you just leave?" David cut him off.

Dave stood back like he'd been hit. "Yeah. If that's... If that's what you want."

"It's what I want." David said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Okay. Okay." Dave turned to leave, hesitating in the doorway for a moment before continuing on. All the way to the sidewalk he kept his eyes fixed firmly on the ground, forcing back tears.

On the plane back, he types out a text to Carly with trembling fingers. you were wrong. 

 

Three days later, Dave came home to find someone sitting on his back porch, hunched over their knees.

"Hi." David said, flatly.

"Aren't you supposed to be getting bound for eternity right about now?" Dave asked, after a moment.

David looked up at him. "Is that what you want?"

"You know what I want."

"No, I don't, actually." David said, his eyes back in front of him. "I thought I did, in the beginning. You wanted what I wanted, but then you didn't. But I thought if I waited, you'd want it again, if you ever did. And I waited, and I waited, but you never said anything, so I thought I was wrong." He took a deep breath. "I mean, every time I saw you, I thought I saw something. But I had to keep telling myself that I was reading into it, that I was so desperately in love with you that I'd make myself see anything in your eyes if it gave me something to hold on to, that you had been telling the truth that night when you said we only had to wait."

He looked up at Dave, his eyes glassy. "Claudia told me I'd be waiting a long time, but that was okay. It was, but then one day I realised that one day might take forever, and I couldn't do that to myself anymore. And I met Danielle, and she wasn't you, but she was almost enough. And I hated myself for not being able to love her as much as I love you, but I told myself it would just take time, that I'd forget you and I'd be able to love her completely."

He paused as Dave sat down next to him on the porch, both of them staring straight ahead. "But then even though I've been engaged for a year, and the invitations went out six months ago, you to wait until almost the last possible minute to show up and tell me that I had been right. That I hadn't been searching too hard for something that wasn't there."

"I'm sorry." Dave said, his own voice cracking this time.

"You said that." David paused again, looking down at his feet. "It wasn't going to change anything. I'd made a commitment to Danielle, and I wasn't going to break that. But I had to tell her, because I did love her, even if it was never as much as I... I owed it to her to be honest."

Dave flinched at the bite in that word, but stayed silent as David continued. "I didn't even have to say anything. The second I told her we needed to talk, she just looked at me and asked if it was about you. I think there's a part of her that was waiting for this to happen, as much as there was a part of me that was telling myself to stop hoping about it."

He finally turned to meet Dave's eyes. "I told her I'd still marry her, because I'd made a promise. But she said I owed it to the part of me that never gave up to come here and be sure."

Dave reached out and took David's hand lightly, his heart leaping as David's fingers squeezed back tentatively.

"I can forgive you, I can. But I can't forget yet how much I hurt when I waited for you. So I can't make any promises, not yet. But one day."

"I'll wait." Dave said, keeping their hands clasped together as they both stared out into the garden. "I'll wait as long as... I'll wait."

 

– – –

 

When he was twenty-three and seven months, he told you 'one day', and you listened.

When he was twenty-three and nine months, he kissed you and told you he loved you. And you kissed him back and told him forever.


End file.
